- Ask for a favor The Benjamin Franklin effect refers to a phenomenon where a person who does a favor for someone becomes more likely to do it again, compared to someone who owes them something. This is because a person perceives the person who asked for the favor as someone who will respond to their request if needed, leading them to feel inclined to help. The story of Benjamin Franklin, who won the favor of someone who didn’t like him by politely asking to borrow a rare book, is an example of this principle in action.
- Demand more The “door-in-the-face” technique involves asking a person to do more than what you actually want, or something absurd. When they refuse, you then ask for what you wanted from the start, making the person feel obligated to comply due to their previous refusal.
- Call the person by their first name Dale Carnegie, a famous American psychologist, believed that addressing someone by their first name is crucial. A proper name is considered to be the most pleasant sound, confirming a person’s existence and evoking positive emotions. How you address someone can also affect the way they treat you. For instance, if you address someone as a friend, they will start feeling friendly towards you, and if you want to work for someone, address them as the boss.
- Flatter While flattery seems straightforward, there are some considerations to keep in mind. If flattery seems insincere, it can do more harm than good. People tend to seek consistency between their thoughts and feelings, and if flattery confirms their self-esteem, they will feel positive about you. However, if the flattery contradicts someone’s self-esteem, it can result in negative feelings. It’s important not to humiliate people with low self-esteem, as this will not win their sympathy.
- Reflect Reflection, also known as mimicry, involves copying someone’s behavior, speech patterns, and gestures. While people may do this unconsciously, it can also be done consciously.
- Take advantage of your opponent’s fatigue Take advantage of a person’s weariness by approaching them with requests or statements, as fatigue affects both their physical and mental energy levels. When a tired individual is asked for a favor, they may be more likely to comply as they are less equipped to handle additional problems. However, people usually try to keep their word, so they may follow through with the promise the next day.
- Offer something you’d be embarrassed to refuse Instead of making a large request, try starting small to build rapport and increase the likelihood of compliance. For example, scientists have found that after asking people to support environmental conservation efforts, they were more likely to buy products associated with the cause. Remember to wait a day or two before making a larger request.
- Learn to listen Rather than telling someone they are wrong, try to understand their perspective by actively listening to their thoughts and feelings. Look for common ground and express your own viewpoint in a way that aligns with their perspective. This will make them more attentive to your words and less likely to feel defensive.
- Repeat after the interlocutor A simple and effective way to build rapport is to repeat what your interlocutor has said in your own words. This technique, known as reflective listening, is commonly used in therapy and can help establish a positive relationship. Formulating their words as a question shows that you have listened attentively and are interested in their perspective.
- Nod Nonverbal cues, such as nodding, can convey agreement and build rapport with your interlocutor. Nodding during the conversation sends a subtle signal of agreement, making the other person more likely to believe that you are in alignment with their views.
10 psychological tricks with which you can influence people
